Reviews

By Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector’sson

2nd July 2020

I have had the following reviews of the Manoir des Quatre Saisons. Personally, I am suspicious and think they all come from one source, someone trying to malign what we are trying to do.

Still fair’s fair, and I thought you had better have the chance to decide for yourself. Sort of trip advisor as it were. Stop you ‘tripping’ up, ho, ho. I can laugh at my own witticisms, I’ll have you know.

Some of them are rather rude, and if, as I keep saying, you are overly refined you many not care to read on. But that’s your lookout.

Anyway, here you are.

• Absolutely awful – Andy from Aldershot

• Bonkers, barmy – Bridget from Basingstoke

• Complete crap – Charles from Caterham

• Dreadfully dull – Dennis from Dulwich

• Excruciating excrement – Edward from Ealing

• Fantaisie de folie – François from France

• Ghastly garbage – Greta from Gothenburg (don’t I know you?)

• Harrowing, horrible – Henrietta, Hamburger (didn’t say where she came from but assume she comes from Hamburg)

• Infantile idiot – Ian from Inverness

• Juvenile junk – James from Jedburgh

• Klobürste Knauf – Klaus from Koblenz (I think that may be VERY rude)

• Loopy Looney – Lady Lucinda from Lincolnshire

• Mad, just mad – Matthew from Montgomery

• Non, non, encore une fois, non! – Charles de Gaulle (how did he get here, thought he was dead? EU must have resurrected him to replace Michel Barnier)

• ‘Orrible, ‘orrid – ‘Orris from the Oval

• Pustulous puke – Peter from Penzance

• Quite liked it actually – Quentin from Queens (there’s always one rave review)

• Revolting rot – Roger from Rotherham (lot of Roger sin Rotherham, I gather)

• Sacré bleu – Sebastien from Sens (bleu doesn’t start with ‘s’ Sebastien, duh)

• Terrible trash – Tricia from Tenerife

• Utterly useless – Ursula from Uffculme

• Vile venom – Victor from Ventnor

• What a wally – William from Wales

• ‘Xtraordinary, ‘Xtraordinary – Xavier from Exbury (not sure if he means extraordinary as in ‘good’ or as in ‘bad’)

• Yawn, yawn – Yasmin from Yemen

• Zzzzzzzzzzzzz – (assume this reviewer fell asleep while reading and forgot to leave name)