Bonfire Night

5th November 2020

Or Guy Fawkes Night perhaps. You know, the guy who tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament. In some ways it’s a pity he didn’t succeed. He had planted his gunpowder under the House of Lords, not the Commons.

People have been trying to get rid of the Lords for ages. It was the Normans who started the Lord’s business with their castles and feudal system, setting up feuds between the Saxons and the Norman’s (who were sort of French, but not if you see what I mean). I will write about that somewhere else no doubt.

Anyway, Guy Fawkes might have done us a favour and got rid of the Lords that wanted to boss the world around. Mmm? Well, alright, England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland then.

Strictly, Wales is part of England as a principality. But I love Wales and the Welsh people I know, and it makes four countries, not three. Four is an even number, and ‘even’ can mean ‘fair’, so I think I am being fair to them all.

Still, Fawkes was a Catholic, and together with his co-conspirators wanted to see James I, king of England etc, replaced by a Catholic monarch. James was Protestant you see. Interestingly, Catholic means ‘Mrs and Mr’ (I will explain elsewhere, it needs proper analysis to show why) and Protestant means, well, ‘Protest ant’

Protest is a protest (‘I protest m’lud’) and ant is a small insect. So a protestant is a small protestor. And small protestors have been standing up to the Catholic church for centuries.

Not that all who call themselves Protestant are small in stature of course, just that the numbers have been relatively small compared to those who call themselves Catholic.

Back to Fawkes. Guy, or Guido Faw….hang on, did you say Guido?? Yes, that’s what I said, Wikipedia says he was also called this. Sounds Italian to me. Mmmm, a closet foreigner methinks.

If you have read E is for…..Europe you may have noticed the entry for Italy. It a lie. Pretending to be one thing, doing another. Like Fawkes, who called himself John Johnson to hide his identity when setting up the gunpowder.

Now John is a good name, ‘God is gracious’, so John Johnson is ‘God is gracious God is gracious’s son’. But in the States a John can be a toilet. So ‘Toilet Toilet’s son’. This might not have applied to Guy or Guido, if not for the fact that I see in the States that Guido is an ‘…ethnic slur or slang term, often derogatory, for a working-class urban Italian-American.’ In the male form ‘…overtly macho…’ From Wikipedia

Still, James I is said to have admired him and described Fawkes as ‘…possessing “a Roman resolution”.’ So a Roman Catholic then.

Fawkes is recorded as saying to the lords interrogating him that his intention was “to blow you Scotch beggars back to your native mountains.” I suspect beggars may have been misheard, or perhaps toned down for refined ears.

Mind you, whilst I have no sympathy for the Catholic cause whatsoever, and whilst I have strong Scottish roots, I do understand sometimes the desire to blow certain ‘Scotch beggars (sic)’ back to their native mountains. Most of the SNP springs to mind.

But blowing up the Houses of Parliament would be a bit drastic today. I have pointed out in K is for…..Kings, under James I that, well.., why don’t you go and see?

And we would lose Big Ben, and not be able to tell the time, if we bothered to look up from our mobile phones. Ok, the time is no big deal as it’s on the phones, but we would miss the iconic structure where Richard Hannay hung off the minute hand in the film, ‘The 39 steps’.

And I think there must be better ways for getting rid of the SNP without collateral damage.

Ridicule is good, satire if you will. Political figures get made into effigies or ‘guys’ to set on top the various bonfires around the country. It started with the pope, who has always been both a religious and a political figure. After all the Vatican is a separate state – see again E is for…..Europe. 

The old county town of Lewes in Sussex usually has celebrations, sadly cancelled this year due to ‘Covid 19 precautions’ according to their website. See

Perhaps events have been cancelled because the authorities were afraid that they would be the subject of effigies. Nicola Sturgeon could have become smoked caviar, Andy Burnham would be suitable as they chanted ‘Burn h’m, burn h’m, and you could get some hot Coffey!

I have heard stories from an ex-work colleague who said that people would let off fireworks in Lewes in unexpected places, although the main event was well organised and disciplined. I gather there could be some 30,000 attendees on the night.

So seeing as Covid 19 is the ‘flu and nothing more – see other parts of this establishment for more details – I am banjaxed as to why they think the ‘flu is going to injure people, even if they are all jam packed together as usual (Lewes is a small town).

But as I keep stressing, Stupidity 20 is far, far more deadly (I am going to call it Stupidity 20 so as to indicate the date –well, if Covid can have a number why can’t Stupidity?).

I have a book called ‘Sussex Martyrs of the Reformation’. Many good men and women died in the flames of a ‘bon feu’ as the French would have it, rather than ‘confess’ to follow Catholicism and its pope. They considered it a far, far better thing to obey God and not man.

Or in this case that wretched woman, bloody Mary, queen of England at the time. But she had been brought up to know no better; her mother had been rejected by her husband, Henry VIII, after many years for not producing a son and heir. That’s enough to make you bitter and twisted. And wretched.

But others forgive, just like Jesus Christ on Calvary’s hill, when he hung on a ‘T’.* Jesus came through the ‘fires’ of the ‘T’ on which he died, the fires to burn away the guilt and shame of our sins.

He was addressed as ‘My lord and my God’ by Thomas (the disciple, not the tank engine), after He was resurrected and came to the disciples indoors. Bit like me, except I am on my Cloud, coming to you in the Cloud. About to shut yourself indoors on the high command of the big BJ and his cabinet.

Except as I keep telling you, its GUIDANCE. It has just struck me. No, not a firework stick falling from the sky above (you’re not allowed to set off fireworks in public places, it is very public up here in the Cloud. It says so on the government’s website here ).

No, I was thinking that guidance is like ‘Guido ants’. Lots of little overtly macho ‘rules’. And just as annoying as guidos or guidettes, the female version.

Personally, I know where they can stick the guidance. Up their…no, inside the effigies of whoever you fancy sticking on a bonfire, if you consider yourself allowed to have one.

People, often children would compete for the best ‘guy’ to stick on the fire. ‘Penny for the guy, mister?’ they’d ask. When the event was first started after the failed plot, a public holiday apparently for a long time, popes were the hate figure understandably.

I don’t know if a ‘pope’ would have been burnt on the fires at Lewes tonight. Perhaps there would have been two, as there are technically two popes, one ‘retired hurt’, one active.

But certainly worth doing for the symbolism. For Catholicism, strictly Roman Catholicism, is trying to get back into power in the UK. It is a second of the three groups I have mentioned behind Covid 19. They will not succeed, as Baldmichael and others are on the case.

Anyway, I hope your ‘celebrations’ if you have any, go well tonight. The weather is excellent, a corker as we might say. Clear skies to go ‘oh and ahh’ at as another rocket explodes in glory in the heavens.

But if you don’t have fireworks, try looking up at the stars instead. The Most High likes to put on a display every night, even if sometimes clouds can obscure the best.

And He made Jesus Lord and King, and set Him up high in the heavens for all to see. ‘The heavens display the glory of God’.

Jesus is the guy for all to see. Worth every penny in my books.

P.S For those who would like clarification on the Firework Code try this

Fireworks Code: Supplementary Guidance

* ‘T’ is explained in J is for…..Jesus

Author: alphaandomega21

Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector'sson. When not posting pages or paging posties, trying to be a good husband, and getting over a long term health issue, I am putting the world to rights. I have nothing better to do, so why not? But of course that includes dancing, being funny (in more than one sense), poking fun at life, poking fun at myself, deflating the pompous, reflating the sad. Seeking to heal the whole of the soul (and body where possible). In short making life as good as it possibly can be for others as well as myself. You can't say fairer than that. But if you can, please say. People need to know.

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