How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

By Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector’sson

19th September 2021

I see on the following video that Nigel Farage says it is reported that the NHS is to recruit 42 new executive managers to be recruited at up to £270,000 per annum. You can find this at just after 7 minutes.

7 minutes is probably the amount of useful work you will be able to get out of these new managers. I may be optimistic of course.

So, it seems about time I used my leaden rapier like Tom Lehrer to kill the beasts. Here goes.

Question: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: None, they don’t know how to do anything practical.

How many managers does it take to have a light bulb moment?

I have taken the stance of an interested member of the public asking this reasonable question of the abilities of the managerial staff. He is speaking to the managerial staff department. This may be HR a.k.a . Human Resources.

“Sorry what’s a light bulb moment? Somebody, Google that for me will you? Well, anybody will do, don’t just sit there looking at me. Ok, ok, let’s see where’s Kevin, he knows these sort of things. Mmm? Transferred to IT? Really when was that? About a year ago you think? Gosh, how time flies. And it was Gavin not Kevin? Well, I knew it was something like that.

How about you Steve? You need to go to the washroom? Well, go then, we don’t want to have to clean up if you don’t make it in time, do we, ha, ha? It’s alright, only joking, we have cleaners to do that. Sorry, I meant housekeepers sounds grander, and helps them accept minimal pay.

Anyway, don’t forget to fill in a form on return, what are they, um, P 1 or SH 1 t. Easy to remember for us. Who did those? Gavin? Really? Mmm? He left them for us before going to IT? Said the second one suited our brains best, did he? Clever chap, sorry he had to move on.

Where was I? What did you ask? How many managers does it take to have a light bulb moment? Oh, yes. Well, how about you Tracey? You’ve done it already? Good girl! And?  It’s the same as an idea. Idea. Mmm, sure I had one of those once. When was it? June I think. Er, 1997 if I’m not mistaken. When Tony Blair won a landslide victory for the Labour party. Or was it the other way round? Can’t remember what the idea was, though.

Right everybody, so now we all understand the meaning of light bulb moment. Yes Frank? You’re not sure everybody does? To be honest Frank, I think you’re pulling my leg. Frank is always the joker.

As I was saying, can you all start remembering when we last had a light bulb moment in this department and then we can come back to this nice gentleman, Neville isn’t it? Melvyn? Sorry, Melville. I’m hopeless with names.

Yes, we’ll come back to you on that one. How about Wednesday? Fortnight’s time?

It’s ok, you think you know the answer anyway now. Oh. Pity, we needed something useful to do. Still, always papers to shuffle I’m sure.

Do pop in again, for a chat and a coffee won’t you?”

How many managers does it take to organise the changing of a light bulb?

I have taken the stance of an a subordinate member of NHS staff asking if it is just possible that the light bulb that has been broken for up to 6 weeks might be replaced anytime soon.

And is there anyone available soon, as the surgeon says he lost his watch inside someone and can’t see to get it out.

“Ooo, let’s see. Mmm…Well, there’s Karen from H.R. and she has how many under her? Mmm, not sure, I’ll have to check with Personnel. Of course, Personnel will have to be involved too. There’s maintenance as well, at least the chief dogsbody, whatever his name is, Richard or Connor. I think it ends with an R. Or starts with an R, one or the other. Anyway, it’ll have to be authorised in triplicate and whilst we can’t trouble the Director (all hallowed be her name), I, as the Vice Director, will have to sign all the forms. And I’ll have to check each one to make sure there are no smelling pisstakes (my little joke!). So all that takes time and as the weekend is coming up, it’ll probably be next Monday. Or Tuesday. Mmm? Oh no, not the changing of the light bulb, that would be silly, you silly man. No, telling how many managers – womanagers really, we’re all female in this department – it takes to organise the changing of a light bulb.

I hope that answers anybody’s question if ever they wondered about this perplexing problem. I shall be writing more about the NHS in due course.

In the meantime if you think spending all this money on managers is a waste of time, and gross waste of money, do write and tell the government, your MP, the NHS etc. what you think.

As taxpayers and their employers it is your right after all.

P.S. If you would like to see something else on the NHS and haven’t already viewed you might like this.

or this

Please note that it said 42 new executive managers at the the start. This could be the number of managers it takes to organise the changing of a light bulb.

If so this shows how mind boggling stupid and wasteful the NHS might become. But then it is already. Stop this madness please.

If you wish to look at more 42 see here.

42 – The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything

Author: alphaandomega21

Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector'sson. When not posting pages or paging posties, trying to be a good husband, and getting over a long term health issue, I am putting the world to rights. I have nothing better to do, so why not? But of course that includes dancing, being funny (in more than one sense), poking fun at life, poking fun at myself, deflating the pompous, reflating the sad. Seeking to heal the whole of the soul (and body where possible). In short making life as good as it possibly can be for others as well as myself. You can't say fairer than that. But if you can, please say. People need to know.

4 thoughts on “How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?”

  1. On the general thrust of this, I am perhaps one of the few who believs that the NHS needs managers. I speak from my experience of having been left disabled due to a stroke.
    Having technical specialists might be fine for the nitty-gritty, but they need somebvody above them who can take a more holistic view.
    Around the time of my stroke, I had to stay in hospital once again. I was ready for discharge but, because nobody there had time to fill out the paperwork, I ended up staying in another day. That is a day when somebody who needed a hospital bed was turned back out into the street.
    If you leave doctors to manage things, they screw up. They need managing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Many thanks for your comment. I am very sorry to hear about your stroke. I agree one needs administrators, but the vast bulk of what is done nowadays is incredibly wasteful. The NHS needs less, far less, management or what passes for management today. And it lost the plot over Covid 19 a.k.a the ‘flu.

      I have requested information from the NHS regarding my health records, yet they have not properly replied after many months. I am struggling with, no thanks to the NHS which misdiagnosed the cause of my condition, a facial palsy.

      It spent thousands of pounds (I might only guess at this stage what they actually spent) on what is still strictly experimental immuno-therapy. Yet my real issue was chemical poisoning via bacon containing sodium nitrite (E250). The effects of this have been known about for over 100 years!

      As for doctors, my opinion of them is very low. I have met a few who give some proper consideration to critical thinking, but most have left their brains behind somewhere, and now because of intense research over 2 years and counting, I now understand much more about the true cause and nature of disease than most main stream doctors from my own experience and the articles I read about or from them.

      So certainly I agree doctors screw up. But then they know very little about nutrition, they do not understand that vitamin D deficiency is the true pandemic due to increased living and working indoors, and they prescribe largely useless neuro-toxic drugs which merely mask symptoms but do not deal with the root causes.

      Indeed they cause more problems than they solve and are expensive to boot. Big pharma aren’t bothered of course.

      By the way, do you boost your vitamin D? This is a critical vitamin as it protects you all round.

      As regards technical specialists they are of limited use when in fact we need more general specialists which a doctor in my surgery said the NHS once had. I think there are very few doctors who see the wood for the trees, hence the nations health is so poor for many people.

      So I agree with you we need people who think holistically, although that should include what I will call the soul or spirit as stress and fear play a major part in one’s health.

      It we had good food, untainted water to drink free from chemicals, proper rest and the environment was lean of the numerous toxic chemicals we put into it, we would not need much of the NHS except for emergencies and nursing care. We would save shed loads of money which would then be better spent on education and making sure the existing transport system worked properly.

      Anyway, many thanks again for commenting, all contributions are gratefully received!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. In answer to your direct question, levels of benefits are sufficiently low that in general, the cost of any over-the-counter medicine, including supplements, is prohibitive. Any meds must be prescribed, and doctors will not prescribe things like supplements.
        Disabled people are designed to die.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GP’s should organise vitamin D testing; they get paid enough for doing precious little.

        My quick research suggests GP’s should help prescribe vitamin D at least for those that need it. The NHS were giving out vitamin D supplements in 2020/2021 I believe to certain vulnerable groups.

        If they can waste millions on pointless if not harmful or deadly vaccines they should give out vitamin D which is essential during the winter when we can’t at UK latitudes get sufficient via the sun if we do the right things.

        Liked by 1 person

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