Calendar

By Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector’sson



I had never given it much thought you know. The meaning of the seasons and months. It says in Genesis about the sun, moon and stars being for times and seasons etc.

But I looked at the meaning of the names of seasons and months and days, played with the words and sounds of the words and came up with the following. Very interesting I thought.

Seasons

Winter – vetur in Icelandic which is ‘winter’ in Iceland. Sounds like wetter. Is it? It seems so.

https://www.climatestotravel.com/climate/iceland

Can sound like ‘winner’ if you don’t pronounce ‘t’ especially if you have been drinking whiskey etc!! There is ‘The winner takes it all’ by Abba – winter takes away the surplus of summer!

Could be wenter – the sun came, was and went! But it will come back.

Winter is the last season as the year should end at the end of winter, strictly considered as the 21st of March in the UK. However, the Chinese New Year starts between 21 January and 20 February I gather and this makes better sense.

My birthday falls in this period and won’t be long now before I am 62. As the balance of light and dark improves, as does temperature overall as well. First real bloom of flowers occurs in Sussex around this time with snowdrops and early crocuses, and so we have…

Spring – everything springs up. In French it is ‘printemps’. Sounds like ‘print time’ perhaps. Time for the girls to wear floral print dresses, as the earth is dressed in flowers again.

Or even possibly prince time. One day the prince, the sun, will come to wake up sleeping beauty, the beauty of the earth.

We had the house external thermometer read nearly 14o C yesterday and little blue crocuses have sprung up again in the lawn. We have company; we are no longer ‘alawn’ (sic)!!

Summer – ‘simmer’ in West Frisian – to be on the boil, boiling hot!! Summer enchanted evening. Sum is to add, add up your blessings! Balmy summer days when the barmy English can get up to mad things! Such as this, for example.

http://www.bognorbirdman.com/

Here you can see those ‘magnificent men in their flying machines’ attempt man powered flight. And women attempt woman powered flight also.

‘Hafota’ in Welsh I understand but usually ‘haf’. I assume this is an abbreviation. ‘Hafota sounds like ‘have hotter’. Seems fair to me.

Autumn – to the heap au-tumnus like tumuli – Mr Tumnus is a faun in Narnia, the enchanted land of C.S.Lewis’s wonderful books. Fawn is light brown to reddish brown, like autumn of course.

‘Rudens’ in Latvian. Like ruddy or red. Red autumn leaves. Book reading time, read the leaves, the pages of a book.

‘Foghar’ in Scots Gaelic. The time of fogs and mists, the ‘season of mists and mellow fruitfulness’ as John Keats put it.

https://poets.org/poem/autumn

Months

January – From Janus. J-anus, an arsehole of a month, cold and wet. Janus is two faced. Like Satan, who is the same. And an arsehole. An angel of light who became the dark angel.

Could have been undecember in Rome (abbreviated to unde). Time to put your undies on. Hopefully you wear these most of the year when cold, but not if you are warm enough. So perhaps time to put long johns on (or long joans if you are female!).

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Undecember

Strictly the eleventh month here, so fits in with Chinese New Year better.

Note anagram of Undecember is ‘encumbered’. January can be a burden to many, a depressing month if you don’t have someone to raise you up or things to do and lift your spirits.

But don’t rely of alcoholic spirits except in company of others as this can lead to melancholy and that will never do.

It is written ‘Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to reckless indiscretion. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.’ I know whiskey is the water of life, but too much of a good thing can be a problem. After all you can drown in water!

N.B. Please also note mary-lou’s comment in comments which gives more substance to the above.

February – Month of fevers, from French, février. In Greek a ‘b’ and ‘v’ are interchangeable. That’s what the French give us! Covid 19 strikes again! (psst, don’t tell everyone but it’s really the ‘flu).

On second thoughts perhaps you should tell everyone. They need to know.

March – Time to go for a brisk walk as still cold. Mars in French, the god of war. A battle against the wind, rain and cold of March sometimes as winds usually come with the vernal equinox.

Vernal meaning in essence ‘green’ as the earth ‘greens up’ again as snows disappear (if you have snow), and equinox as days and nights essentially equal length.

April – From French, Avril or perhaps ‘a thrill’. Thrilling time of year when everything starts springing up (no need for Viagra!)

May – May be hot, may be cold. That’s May for you. Theresa May be hot or cold. That’s Theresa May for you. She blew hot and cold on Brexit.

Amazingly an anagaram of Theresa May is ‘My hates are’. Are what exactly? Her middle name is Mary. Anagram of this is ‘army’.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/theresa-may-army-cuts-proposed-tory-rebellion-backbenchers-conservative-vote-a8078626.html

Told you.

Personally I love May (anagram is Amy meaning ‘beloved’), a beautiful time of year even if cold. Great for long bicycle rides. Not sure I am that keen on Theresa May though. Must do more research and check her out.

June – From Ja –yes and ne – no. Yes is the men, no the ladies. When men and ladies go out together. Ladies day in June at Ascot, in Berkshire where Berks live. Mmm…


These are reasonable hats, but ladies why the masks?? Are you that scared of the ‘flu?? What a bunch of tits. How many are there, can you count? 3 or 6?


This man looks sensible, if you think a top hat is sensible of course. He does look as though he has been enjoying the bubbly. He is not wearing a mask. He is sensible. He may be a Berk from Berkshire, but he is not a tit.

Why is it that the ladies are wearing masks more than men I wonder? My very limited observations today are that this is the case in Sussex at the moment. Any thoughts gratefully received.

I do love ladies, but honestly, I ask you! I want to see your lovely faces, please.

July – After Julius Caesar. Originally from sextile. noting or pertaining to the aspect or position of two heavenly bodies when 60° distant from each other.

From the free dictionary. So sex on the tiles, night on the tiles perhaps, between two heavenly bodies. 600 seems rather distant, so get a small protractor. Then have protracted sex (or protected sex).

Best between husband and wife as this is safe sex.

But anti-social distancing is not allowed. Maintaining 6’ or 2 metre distance quite impractical. Go and try if you like.

August – From French “noble, stately; august”. From the Free dictionary.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/august

The French like to talk a lot. Mmm…

But August is a windy month quite often. It is in Sydney anyway.

If your name is not Sydney, are you not so windy?

If you are in Quebec in Canada where the language is in essence French, are the people there windy?

Justin Trudeau is pretty much French. Some people think he is pretty. Old Baldy thinks he is pretty windy and that’s being polite.

Which rhymes with another word. Can’t think what. It will come back to me I’m sure. Or shure. Mmm…

September – ember days when heat of sun waning (but not too much ‘wain’ usually!). And cèpes in French are mushrooms which can be gathered.

Septem for seven in Latin of course.

October – 8th month. Should be Octoember but doesn’t sound very good.

Anagram is Ebro cot. Hire a cot-tage on the River Ebro in Spain. Weather must be good then, still warm but not too hot.

http://www.deltaebro.com/en/weather-ebro-delta.html

Octo for eight in Latin of course. Like 8 armed octopus.

November – ember days. Suitable for reading a nov-el by the fire. See autumn earlier.

Novem for nine in Latin of course.

December – final ember days. And when you can dec-orate a Christmas tree.

Decem for ten in Latin of course.

Days of week

Monday – Said to be moon day, but actually mun-day for the mundane tasks such as washing clothes.

Tuesday – Day for eating (Chewsday).

Wednesday – Wedding day maybe, wed Nes whoever he/she is.

https://www.behindthename.com/name/nes

Agnes it seems. Now you know.

Or possibly watching Sheffield Wednesday football team which started as a cricket team meeting on a Wednesday.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheffield_Wednesday_F.C.

Or Widnes day, going to Widnes in Cheshire, England maybe.

Thursday – Day for drinking as you are ‘thirstday’! Like Jesus on the cross, ‘I am Thursday (sic)’!

The cross was strictly a ‘T’ which I explain elsewhere. He drank His ‘T’ and it was a bitter cup, but it was good for us that he did we are told in the Bible. We must drink some of it too.

Friday – Fry (up) day, or as we eat fish, fried fish day.

My wife talks about her brother Francis as Fri or Fry. To her every day is a Fri-day!

Saturday – Day to sit down and rest. On our bottoms perhaps, like Saturn. Saturn which represents Satan who’s a bottom or arse. Always good to sit on him (or shit on him in Hebrew as he is an arsehole).

Sunday – Enjoy the sun of God (if it is shining) and the Son of God who always shines. Give thanks for the sun of God and give thanks to the Son of God for the sun.

Note the distinction. Don’t thank the created but the creator. Simples.

Years

I have forgotten years. Ar yes, you have, Baldy! ‘Ar yes’ is anagram of ‘years’.

Another anagram of years is ayers. I thought ‘Wow! Ayres Rock’. I looked it up

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uluru

It will warrant further research but I noted this.

Itjanu (January/February/March) – Sporadic storms can roll in suddenly

‘Itjanu’ or ‘It Janu’ like ‘It’s Janus’. Individual languages are much closer than we think. If storms can roll in suddenly, then this is the two faces of Janus.

Why years? Or ‘Y’ ears? He who has ears to hear let him hear.

Anybody listening yet?

There you go. I think that was useful or at least funny. And as I reckon humour is useful (and enjoyable), I think that’s a fair comment.

Please feel free to make a fair comment.





P.S. If you do wonder about the ‘flu and Covid 19, try this. Substantial if you have the side dishes as well. Covid 19 Summary

If you are interested in Brexit, try this. Light but amusing I think. Breggsit

Author: alphaandomega21

Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector'sson. When not posting pages or paging posties, trying to be a good husband, and getting over a long term health issue, I am putting the world to rights. I have nothing better to do, so why not? But of course that includes dancing, being funny (in more than one sense), poking fun at life, poking fun at myself, deflating the pompous, reflating the sad. Seeking to heal the whole of the soul (and body where possible). In short making life as good as it possibly can be for others as well as myself. You can't say fairer than that. But if you can, please say. People need to know.

3 thoughts on “Calendar”

    1. That is a very useful comment indeed, thank you. Perhaps I should add to the post, or make a note to check out what you have said.

      Of course an anus is an opening, and traditionally January is a month where fasting takes place after Christmas excess. This involves a great clear out of the body, at least part of which is via the anus!

      On reflection, I shall unless you suggest otherwise, make a note for people to check out your comment.

      Like

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