It’s Christmas! – Schwaba Klaus is coming to town

By Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector’sson

17th December, 2022

As it is approaching Christmas I thought we could have a traditional Christmas song to cheer us all up.

Sadly, Bing Crosby is not available. As it was rather short notice, all I could find was this nice gentleman with the face like the back end of a bus that has been run into by a juggernaut.

He looks presentable if you don’t mind the tattoos on his arms saying ‘Voldemort lives’ and ‘Death Eaters’ for ever.

And I’m sure that the bronze rings on his hand will be of assistance in cleaning up my Cloud. He says they are dusters, knuckle dusters, but I dare say they will do the job nicely.

At six foot six and 3 foot wide, he will come in handy for checking the anti-social distancing requirements between Clouds.

He comes highly recommended by Klaus Schwab I gather.

Anyway, please give a warm welcome (as hot as Hell if you wish) to Mr Bung Frisby.

Government Health Warning: This video and its contents is rated M.A.R.X as in Marx of the Beast. Do not watch before going to sleep or show to children or those of nervous disposition as you may have to clean up afterwards.

You will be glad to hear I managed to placate Mr Frisby with a share in crypto currency. Fool’s gold, but he fell for it.

Anyway Mr Frisby, don’t ring us, we’ll ring you.



Schwaba Klaus is coming to town

You better watch kraut

You better not lie

Better not spout

I’m telling you why

Schwaba Klaus is comin’ to town, gather round or else

He’s making you pissed

With all kinds of vice

He’s gonna find out who’s not followed advice1

Schwaba Klaus is comin’ to town

(He sees you when you’re weeping)

(He knows when you’re at a wake)2

He tracks you on your mobile phone

So be good for Klaus’s sake (or else!)

You better watch kraut

You better not lie

Better not spout

I’m telling you why

Schwaba Klaus is comin’ to town

Little red horns3, big metal drums4

Ruddy toot-toot5 and rummy tum tums6

Schwaba Klaus is comin’ to town

And surly head dolls that piddle and poo7

 (Sycophants, goats and electric cars too).

Schwaba Klaus is comin’ to town

The boys and girls in soy land8

Will have a Jew-bally9

They’re gonna build a soy land town

All around the W.C. (cos life will be crap)

interlude

You better watch kraut

You better not lie

Better not spout

I’m telling you why

Schwaba Klaus is comin’ to town

(He sees you when you’re weeping)

(He knows when you’re at a wake)

He tracks you on your mobile phone

So be good for Klaus’s sake (or else!)

You better watch kraut

You better not lie

Better not spout

I’m telling you why

Schwaba Klaus is comin’ to town, gather round or else

You better watch kraut

You better not lie

Better not spout

I’m telling you why

Schwaba Klaus is comin’ to town

I mean, the German man with the long coat weird

 (He’s comin’ to town) near you so watch it!


Footnotes

1 Government advice to anti-social distance, wear masks, get jabbed etc.

2 A wake for the dead who have followed the advice above.

3 A.k.a. horns of the Red Dragon, Satan.

4 Drums full of toxic waste, disposed of in jabs, soil, water etc.

5 Traffic, petrol and especially diesel engine vehicles and noisy horns; see footnote 3 above.

6 Upset stomachs etc. results of drums see footnote 4 above.

7 you can buy the non-surly head item apparently. How nice (sigh).

8 As in Soylent Green. The stuff of nightmares.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_Green

9 As in Jews who say they are Jews but are not but are of the synagogue of Satan.



P.S. For the original Bing Crosby song after you have recovered from the shock.

Bing Crosby – Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town

These links may further lighten the mood and get you in the festive cheer.

A is for…. Anti-social distancing.

Santa claus

Away in the manger

Happy Christmas! (Happy Boxing Day Too!)

And here’s the music I used.

Santa Claus Is Coming to Town – Bing Crosby | Karaoke Version | KaraFun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fh1cgOWnjUM

Author: alphaandomega21

Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector'sson. When not posting pages or paging posties, trying to be a good husband, and getting over a long term health issue, I am putting the world to rights. I have nothing better to do, so why not? But of course that includes dancing, being funny (in more than one sense), poking fun at life, poking fun at myself, deflating the pompous, reflating the sad. Seeking to heal the whole of the soul (and body where possible). In short making life as good as it possibly can be for others as well as myself. You can't say fairer than that. But if you can, please say. People need to know.

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