More About Lerts

12th October 2020

You may remember the government saying we had passed through the peak back at the end of April. Well, when listening to it, it sounds like ‘peak’ but I now realise that it meant ‘peke’.

Which is short for Pekinese. A Chinese dog. And the Chinese eat dogs. So presumably they were passing the peke, which means it wasn’t Coronavirus but something they ate.

And of course the end result of passing something is…what the government and main stream media have been feeding us.

Which leads on to why we have the advice to Stay Alert. This time I realise they have made a spelling mistake. It should be Stay a Lurt. Apparently, this is Scottish dialect for: A lump of dirt or excrement; a turd (Google it if you want to check).

Something to be avoided, hence the 2-meter anti-social distancing rule. They do not want us to think, obviously, as turds don’t think, they only stink.

I think we should stop treating each other like sh1t and start treating each other as human beings again. You know, shake hands which is the British, polite, thing to do. If we are feeling French, then a peck or two on the cheek.

You might not know this but there is a law over 3,000 years old in Deuteronomy 23 v13.

‘You must have a place outside the camp to go and relieve yourself. And you must have a digging tool in your equipment so that when you relieve yourself you can dig a hole and cover up your excrement.…’

And the reason? ‘For the Lord your God walks throughout your camp to protect you and deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, lest He see anything unclean among you and turn away from you.…’

We wouldn’t like to tread on it, so why should the Lord?