By Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector’sson
19th May 2021
Well, why? Because ‘bad’ in German means bath or spa. In England there is the fair city of Bath. The railway station is called ‘Bath Spa’. Strictly this could be ‘Bath Bath’ or ‘Spa Spa’.
It seems rather a repetitious thing to do, but rather fun I suppose to call it ‘Bath Spa’; it has a gentle sound to it, imitating the gentle washing of waters, the soothing effects of a bath.
The English used to have baths rather than showers as a general rule to wash themselves. And a spa was a place for a special treatment, so it makes sense to advertise it in this way.
Calling the station just plain Bath perhaps loses some romance. I mean who wants to go to a place for an ordinary bath when you can have a bath spa?
In Germany they have bad places to go to have a bath or spa. Which sounds rather odd. But that’s, Germany for you, rather odd.
Anyway I thought we could look at least some of the places in Germany which are Bad.
It transpires it’s not the places so much as the waters they adjoin that are bad. As follows:
Kaiserbad – meaning ‘imperial bath’.
It is rather confusing, but as I understand it, now a single municipality formed of three that the Kaiser (Emperor/Caesar), Wilhelm II visited. I understand these are Ahlbeck, Bansin and Heringsdorf.
These three places were apparently known as the ‘bathtub of Berlin’. So, perhaps Berliners only washed thoroughly when they visited these places. The smell in Berlin may well have been very bad as a consequence.
Wilhelm II essentially started WWI, and was a nutcase with a stuffed bird on his head so Kaiserbad makes sense.
He was essentially mad. Says it all.
Again not a place, but generic term meaning ‘sulphur bath’. Presumably a bath smelling like farts, so therefore bad.
The following are waters:
Nordseeheilbad – Literally North Sea salvation bath
Nordseebad – Literally North Sea bath (obviously from above)
Ostseeheilbad – Literally East Sea (Baltic Sea) salvation bath
Seebad – Sea bath. Seebad refers to North Sea I believe, but why it is called sea bath rather than North Sea bath I don’t know.
Anyway, it seems to the Germans that the North Sea is bad, the Baltic Sea is bad, and the sea generally is bad. Perhaps this is why the German navy, whilst having some good ships, has never performed well, except when underneath it with U-Boats.
After all if your view of the sea is that it is bad, why should you want to sail on it?
Bad Aachen – officially this but likes to be first on list so just called Aachen. Why not Aachen Bad? A very good name as ‘ache’ in the middle of Aachen.
So if you have an ache why not go here for a bath?
Alexisbad – well, it looks like Alexis is bad. If this is your name are they slandering you? Or do the Germans know something we don’t?
We now enter the realm of the bad. A large majority of the spas are bad. If they are not, the region they are in is bad, or the type of spa is bad. Thus:
Types of Spa
Moorheilbad – 40 spa towns. The word apparently means ‘Mud salvation bath’ or ‘Mud healing bath’. So, have a bath in mud, and go home dirtier than you came. Sounds mad to me.
Why not instead play rugby football on a lovely wet day and get thoroughly muddy? Then have a bath.
Mineralheilbad – 42 spas towns. ‘Mineral salvation bath’ or ‘Mineral healing bath’. Minerals can be good for health. Can’t see that is bad. Note 42 by my reckoning. Answer to everything. See
Surely that’s good? Oh well, move on.
Heilbad – 37 spa towns. ‘Salvation bath’ or ‘Healing bath’. Sounds ok to me, not bad.
Thermalsoleheilbad – 4 spa towns. ‘Thermal brine healing bath’. Warm and salty. Sounds good to me, not bad. Are these Germans mad?
Kneippheilbad – 24 spa towns. Kneipp was a German Catholic clergyman and healer; a water healing method developed by him. See
The latter says ‘The five pillar Kneipp philosophy contains these elements – water, herbs, exercise, nutrition and lifestyle management.’
This does not sound bad to me, in fact rather sensible.
Jod-Sole-Heilbad – 1 spa town. ‘Iodine-brine medicinal bath.’ Iodine salty bath. Not bad in my books. Yod sound like God, like the Hebrew Yod or Yodh for God. Is God salty or does he use salty language? Yes of course He does.
And He thinks Satan, a.k.a. Loopy Lucy, is a sod. Obviously.
Solebad – 2 spa towns. ‘Brine bath.’ See above.
Soleheilbad – 25 spa towns. See above.
Schwefelheilbad – 1 spa town. ‘Sulphur bath.’ See above and quite a lot earlier above.
Radonheilbad – 2 spa towns. ‘Radon bath’ NB! Radioactive bath!! I have inserted warning symbols.
Some have associated the bottom symbol with Satan. Well, hazard warnings point to Satan being dangerous. Green can be green for envy. Satan all over. Envy is stupid, therefore Satan is a burke.
Or maybe a burka which you can hide behind. Satan likes hiding. QED.
Felkeheilbad – 1 spa town. ‘Peoples healing bath’ or carnation healing bath.
As I understand it this was after Emanuel Felke (meaning ‘God with us people’).
Sounds more sensible than bad. It seems he dispensed his remedies free of charge, unlike the doctors of the time, who objected to him and his methods. Not surprising when their livelihoods were being undermined and their ability to make large sums of money.
Not unlike today of course, mainstream doctors deriding those offering sensible alternatives to vaccines, masks etc. etc. Ultimately all good things come from God and He gives them freely. Freely you have received, freely give His Son said.
Jodbad – 1 spa town. As I have mentioned before, Jod relates to God, so God bad. This is slander of the basest kind. Satan is bad, not God. Germans are mad, and by all accounts bad.
NB. Some bads can be both mineral and thermal. Sounds ok to me.
Baden-Württemberg – 59 spa towns in this region. Whatever the meaning of Württemberg is (and berg means mountain), it is still bad. Despite being an attractive tourist area. Contains the Black Forest.
Black may be bad if it means lack of light. Might explain things.
Landkreis Bad Kissingen – 3 spa towns in this area. Bad kissing. Not good, but kissing is good (in general).
Gemeinde Bad Boll – 1 spa town in this area. Bad boll, is bad ball. Not good.
Landkreis Bad Dürkheim – 1 spa town in this area. Can’t see what Dürkheim means except heim is home. Durk may mean tough. Tough home, a tough home may be bad. Something is bad in any event.
Stadt Bad Gottleuba-Berggießhübel – 2 spa towns in this area I believe. Phew what a mouthful! Well, Gott is God. Übel is evil. Looks like it might be pour bucket for erggießhübel. Perhaps it rains buckets rather than cats and dogs as we say in the UK.
However, I see the local police laws are rather strict. Try Google translate for text.
Personally, I can see why the area is bad. How on earth can you stick to these rules? Bad, very bad in my books. A.k.a load of bollux.
Landkreis Bad Tölz-Wolfratshausen – 2 spa towns. Now, wolf rats must be bad surely? No dispute there.
Stadt Bad Driburg – 1 spa town. Driberg maybe third mountain. Sounds like dry mountain. Not sure what’s wrong with that.
Landkreis Bad Kreuznach – 3 spa towns. Kreuznach means cross after or similar. Cross after what exactly? Bad if you worship cross rather than God.
Stadt Horn-Bad Meinberg – 1 spa town. Horn bad clearly. But what type of horn? More information required.
Gemeinde Bad Saarow-Pieskow – 1 spa town. Sounds in part that pies cow is bad. Perhaps cow pies or cow pats. Why should they be bad? Not exciting to tread in one though, but not that bad unless the place is littered with them.
I haven’t been, so I wouldn’t know.
Stadt Bad Teinach-Zavelstein – 1 spa town. Meaning ‘Linden (tree)-Chessboard stone’ possibly. Not sure what’s wrong with that.
However, the following may offer some other clues.
Roman Catholic, cabbalistic? Well, I not surprised it is bad. And in the Black Forest. It all makes sense.
Stadt Bad Doberan – 1 spa town.
The link says
Bad Doberan was one of the first cities that appointed Adolf Hitler in August 1932 an honorary citizen. On 2 April 2007, the city council formally withdrew his honorary citizenship.
Do I have to explain? Why did they take so long to withdraw his honorary citizenship? Wasn’t Adolf dead by then? Do they know something we don’t? I found something a while back which might explain it. But not telling, so there.
But Herman Wirth was born in the town and the following is interesting. See if you can spot a four letter word in the text, part of another word.
Stadt Bad Wildungen – 1 spa town. Sounds like the dung is bad. Oh dear.
Stadt Bad Elster – 1 spa town. Bad magpie it seems. Elster is magpie. Magpies steal things. Stealing is bad. Fair enough.
So just to sum up this section we have:
State – 1. Out of the 16 states in the German Federal Republic, this is the only one it seems. Baden-Württemberg. This has the most bad places (and the Black Forest).
Stadt – 7. German for city.
Landkreis – 4. German for district.
Gemeinde – 2. German for parish or nearest equivalent.
Bad Abbach – this may indicate that the town does not like Abba, the pop group. Well, people are free to disagree, but why emphasise the point? I quite like Abba myself.
Bad Aibling – sounds like the jewellery here is cheap. That’s bad, who wants cheap jewellery?
Bad Alexandersbad – well, we have had Alexisbad, but it seems Alexander’s even worse. They clearly don’t like Alexander for some reason.
Bad Arolsen – not sure who Arolsen is or was. Arol is welsh for ‘after’. Might have originally been Carolsen, perhaps son of Carol. Further research required.
Bad Bayersoien – located in the Pfaffenwinkel, ‘Priests corner’ with moorland around. Bayer again sounds like a dog which bays or howls. So maybe wolves in the area. A corner for priests doesn’t sound much fun to me, especially when one hears what the Roman Catholic ones sometimes get up to. Explains bad anyway.
Bad Bederkesa – perhaps the beds are bad here? As an anagram of Bederkesa is Baedeker the following may make sense.
Anyay, if the beds or perhaps bedding is bad, who would wish to stay the night?
Bad Bellingen – In this case I suppose the Bell people are bad. Try ringing them and find out.
Bad Belzig – whatever this means it must be bad. Wikipedia entry states that ‘Since 2003, when 14 surrounding villages were incorporated into Bad Belzig, some of them voluntarily’. Not all of them voluntary then; that sounds bad.
Bad Bentheim – sounds like the home is bent. Not a good thing to have a bent home.
Hanna Krabbe, and her sister, Friederike, were born and grew up in Bad Bentheim, they were Red Army Faction members according to Wikipedia.
Whilst I can’t find details of their family life, I suspect the reason lies with the family as so often the case. Something for someone to follow up.
Bad Bergzabern – this could be ‘mountain blabber’ according to Google translate. Possibly a hill of rubbish or crap. But bern means bear in German. So maybe ‘mountain of bear’. Perhaps the inhabitants couldn’t bear the mountain of blabber. That’s sad (and bad I suppose).
Bad Berka – I would have thought this obvious. Berks are stupid or bad. Berkas that some women wear are stupid or bad, unless you are keeping out the sandstorms or similar. See M is for…..Masks for further explanation.
Bad Berleburg – it seems Lewis Keseberg was born here. He was accused of cannibalism. Wikipedia gives a history.
Not conclusive but might explain something about the place.
Bad Berneck im Fichtelgebirge – Something bad in the Fichtel mountains. Not sure what. However, Ulrike Meinhof lived here for a little bit. She was part of the Red Army Faction (a.k.a. Baader Meinhof gang) as described earlier. Oh dear.
Adolf Hitler also stayed here sometimes. Need I say more?
On the other hand https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulrike_Meinhof suggests some interesting thoughts on her life.
Bad Bertrich – It is bad that Bert is rich. Obvious. Whoever Bert is. I this this is Bertist, discrimination against Berts.
Bad Bevensen – does this mean they think Bevens are all bad? Or just the son (sic) of Beven? Perhaps they didn’t like Aneurin Bevan or maybe Ernest Bevin?
A case of Bevenism (sic) perhaps.
Bad Birnbach – Well, it seems it’s bad. Birn maybe from burn like a stream in Scotland. Can’t see why a birn should bad. Anyway, the name would mean bad stream stream, as bach means stream in German.
However, Google translate suggests pear from birne in German. So ‘pear stream’. What’s bad about that? Sounds more mad than bad.
Bad Blankenburg – bad blanken mountain? Blanken means ‘bare’ it seems. Maybe everybody there gives you a blank look. That can be bad.
Bad Bocklet – This might have to do with ‘einen Bock schießen’, to make a blunder. Scheißen with the ie the other way round means ‘to shit’. Is Bock a buck like a dollar? Bad little dollar? I suppose a big dollar better than a little one.
As to big or little shit, you tell me. Not that I want to know, mind you, that’s your affair.
Bad Bodendorf – this is near the Golden Mile, a fertile part of the Rhine valley. There was a prison camp in WW2 where German prisoners were held near the end of the war. See
It says at the end ‘In spite of this relatively low death rate of under 1%, many survivors returned from imprisonment traumatized by their experience.’
Mmm, well seeing as Germany started the war I think this is a bit rich don’t you? The entry seems to suggest the Allies were at fault, despite the fact they had to fight a war and try and help clean up the mess afterwards.
Still, when you want to distract from murdering a few (sic) people in the holocaust, it helps to point out how bad someone else is.
Jesus said something about that, regarding planks in your own eye as I recall.
In this case I think I would say a wood yard full of planks in Germany’s eye versus a speck of sawdust in the Allies. That is bad (on the Germans part).
The village lies close by Sinzig. Sin is bad, enough said.
Bad Bodenteich – Boden means ‘ground’ and ‘teich’ means pond as far as I can make out.
There is a video in German I have noted. I wouldn’t bother watching except very briefly to see what I mean. See
All rather depressing. Would explain the bad. Next please.
Bad Boll – Boll could be like ball. A bad ball then. Okay, so what? Perhaps that’s it.
Bad Brambach – One of the radon bath spas. As radon is supposed to be injurious to health that would make sense. But makes no sense of having a spa for health reasons.
Maybe that’s the Germans for you; after all if you are Ger-manic you sound mad. Starting three world wars (current war of words included) is also mad.
Avoiding radon baths might help avoid future wars perhaps.
Bad Bramstedt – There are two people listed in the notable persons list on Wikipedia, Golden Mile and Kurt Gustav Wilckens. See
Karl Lagerfeld sounds a bit odd in his Wikipedia entry. He lost 42 Kg in 2001. 42 the ultimate answer to everything. He also apparently lied about his age.
It seems his parents lied too.
Kurt Gustav Wilckens was an anarchist. Not good then.
But Charles I. D. Looff sounds ok. Except perhaps his name which sound like a toilet. If a ‘loo’ is ‘off’, is it not working correctly I wonder?
Then there are Augusta Louise zu Stolberg-Stolberg and Friedrich Leopold zu Stolberg-Stolberg. Presumably they were so good that they were named twice (Stolberg – Stolberg) like New York in the song by Gerard Kenny. The song reached No. 42 in the UK singles chart apparently. 42 again.
Anyway, all these entries suggest lots of bad things about Germany, and why there are a lot of bad places. Frankly mad would be as good a term.
In any event, there are rather a lot more bad places to look at.
But not today, I think. After all, there is only so much bad you can take at one go. Too much and it will drive you mad.
Like the Germans perhaps?
P.S. Here is the link on 42 again if you need it.
And M is for…..Masks