This comes from the Bible but I’m not too bothered about that right now. Except perhaps the middle word ‘times’. In this case ‘The Times’ dated Wednesday 5th.
I have done an earlier piece on ‘The Telegraph’ headings, so time to look at the Times. Perhaps it will take me half the time to do it as I took to do the Telegraph one?
Then I would have time to look at The Times in half the time!!
Anyway, here it is, my amusing look at the headlines from a copy of The Times I ‘borrowed’ at the end of the day from the Sauna Steam and Swimming Bath Cloud. It was looking lonely so I thought I could give it a good home.
Here goes. Headings running through the paper front to back (hopefully). Those that caught my eye anyway.
PM: We can ride this out without new Covid curbs
Assume Boris is thinking (!) about spending on bumper cars for us all to ride in, on the bumpy roads that have not been properly repaired during lockdowns.
Why the government keeps spending money on kerbs when it is the main tarmac that need repair beats me.
But then the government like beating people.
Electric car travels length of Britain on a single charge
I am not sure what it was charged with. Loitering with intent to defraud the public? Wasting money on new technology instead of making old technology work much better?
Not wearing a mask, antisocial distancing, going unvaccinated, thinking the government was doing this for public health reasons?
Judge deals blow to Andrew’s hopes of dismissing sex claim
I understand this is known as a ‘blow job’. I mentioned this to someone whilst they were drinking their coffee and they nearly choked to death. I don’t know why. Apparently I had said something hilarious.
I said I couldn’t see what was funny about it, it was very serious. That generated even more paroxysms. I shrugged my shoulders. Some people are very peculiar.
But then I don’t get out much.
Army officer proves that South Pole isn’t all white
There is a photo of a nice looking lady. She is clad in that army khaki, with various colours to confuse the enemy. Her skin from what I can see looks quite pale with a sort of pinky light tan.
She is supposed to be the first woman of colour at the South Pole. Not sure what that’s supposed to mean. Surely there has been a woman with various colours there already?
As to proving the South Pole isn’t all white, well it has no doubt been covered in all sorts of crap that people from other expeditions have left before. So I doubt it has been truly white for a while.
But then if there is a pole at the South Pole, it ought to be dark so you can see it against the snow white. And then you will know for sure you are at the South Pole. I am confused.
Small British firm makes big money with Covid test deals
What a surprise. This should say ‘Small British firm makes big money with pointless Covid test kits. Big money kindly paid for by yours truly and a few million other taxpayers. Big money for a few elites.
Anybody writing and complaining and demanding money back?
Sussex charity raised less than $50,000 last year
This is the ‘Save Megan and Harry Trust from Poverty in the USA’. That money won’t keep them in champagne for very long.
Pandemic harms babies motor skills
Babies should not be driving motors in the first place, whatever are they thinking about??
Return of the Rings: thief sneaks first editions back to charity
This is rumoured to be Gollum who used his ring to make himself invisible. Personally I think it is a publicity stunt to gain free publicity to sell the books at a higher price.
‘Who will buy these, my precious, that hobbit over there, delicious, my precious.’
No10 rejects VAT cut on energy bills to help squeezed households
Household squeezed because they are stuck in bubbles indoors, possibly with people they don’t get on with.
Somebody has said the households are being squeezed to get the Jewce (sic) out. This sounds anti-Jewcist to me.
No. 10 has rejected VAT cut because the government needs all the money it can get to pay the MP’s for not attending at Parliament in case they catch Covid 19. a.k.a. the ‘flu. Or start asking too many awkward questions, like Covid 19 seems a lot like the ‘flu.
MP’s can be a bit slow.
Prostate cancer patients are denied £35,000 drug
That’s a relief. Perhaps they can eat properly in the first place with good vitamins and minerals etc., food and drink untainted with toxins.
Of course it helps to know that most cancers caused by toxins in the environment. And that the NHS and cancer charities make shed loads of money at our expense when the remedies would be don’t poison ourselves or get tested for cancer. After all, if we can’t trust the NHS nowadays, do you really think they have our best interests at heart?
I have a cancer diagnosis which is in fact toxin related and due to sodium nitrite and nitrosamines.
But do they test for that? No, they don’t despite this being known about for probably over 100 years. NHS useless.
Heart attack? Our 999 staff are off sick so take a taxi to hospital
You might be safer nowadays not going to hospital in case they decide to vaccinate you whilst you are not looking. Given that a lot of upright staff are being forced to choose between having the jab or losing their job, this does not fill me with confidence in the NHS’s abilities.
And it was low already given the doctors misdiagnosis of my health issues which I had to work out for myself.
999 is inverse of 666. Is this significant?
Two-week wait for tests leaves schools fearing shortages
As the lateral flow tests are all pointless any way, why are they bothered?
Unless they are thinking about exams as it were which are tests. Or maybe they mean the weekly spelling tests etc.
This may be the time it takes for teachers to get back to pupils with their test results. This can be frustrating for pupils.
Perhaps shortages should have been short ages. Children are on the whole smaller than teachers and hopefully younger. So short on ages. It can take ages for test results to come back.
I can’t see why schools should fear this. They are supposed to be in control of the situation. Perhaps they aren’t.
Care homes stop visits as 75% of care workers absent
Perhaps care homes are stopping care in care homes and leaving the residents to rot like in the last lockdowns? Perhaps friends and family should kick up a fuss this time and go and look after them themselves?
Too risky to cut time in isolation
In case people start wondering ‘why am I doing this, what the point?’
And ‘why am I doing this when it is all guidance anyway?’
Intensive care medics redeployed
From places where they were not doing anything anyway towards where the vaccinated are going as they fall ill because of the vaccines.
The PM has said ‘’… thanks to the fantastic effort to get Britain boosted, we now have a substantial level of protection.’ From what is not clear.
The big pharma companies are rubbing their collective hands in glee as their share prices have been substantially boosted. This will give them plenty of capital when they are sued for poisoning the people and mass murder.
Operations ‘paused’ amid rise of cases in the north
As in previous lockdowns, operations are being postponed again as doctors lose the plot again over the ‘flu. This time it will be more difficult as hospitals lose doctors and nurses to the firing/sacking of the competent leaving the incompetent in charge.
Administrators will not be able to stand in as they are incompetent, and there are only so many cups of tea and coffee the remaining doctors and nurses can drink made by administrators if the machines are not working.
Cause for optimism on weaker Omicron wave, scientists say
They say that this time it should be a smaller wave of crap from the government. Can’t see that myself.
There are still tsunami’s of crap coming out of Boris et al.
And we have yet to see what damage the vaccines do anyway. I am not all that hopeful.
Antivaxxer confronts Javid’s young child
Geza Tarjanyi has been allegedly charged with intention to damage property by the Metropolitan Police. They say the road to Sajid Javid’s house is paved with good intentions, as well as tarmac. Mind you he owns four houses, so I don’t know if this applies to all of them.
I assume knocking on someone’s front door is now likely to result in you being arrested. Possibly even if you are calling on a friend and a nasty neighbour decides you are up to no good.
This is a safer bet for the police who don’t like to arrest murderers, for example, unless it is quite obvious they have murdered someone.
Including a fellow officer killing someone of course. The Metropolitan Police like to look after their own you see. Cressida Dick is currently in charge. She is a Dick obviously.
I am not sure how young the daughter is that Geza supposedly confronted. I think he handed her a leaflet about the dangers of the vaccines. She is probably more intelligent than her father and might take things seriously.
Sharp fall in boosters as 9m yet to come forward
They are all trying to go to the back of the queue, desperately trying to avoid another potentially deadly vaccine shot.
‘After you.’ ‘No, after you.’ ‘No really, I’m in no rush.’
I hope people don’t fall out over it; they may cause each other some serious harm. Still, probably better than having a booster.
Maggie Throwup (sic), the vaccines minister, has apparently said that even on Christmas Day people came forward for their first and second jab as well.
This doesn’t sound right as I understood that you had to have a suitable period between each jab to allow the poisonous effects to wear off.
Otherwise it would be too obvious when people started dropping like flies that the vaccines were, how shall we say, slightly problematic.
I gather Nikki Kanani, a GP (this is a General Practitioner, not a guide post or a Jeep, a general purpose vehicle) and deputy lead for the NHS Vaccination Programme has said ‘if you haven’t had your booster, please do come forward, as we know this provides the best protection from the Omicron variant, with trusted healthcare professionals on hand to answer any questions.’
We have had our roving reporter out and about asking a ‘trusted healthcare professional’ some questions.
‘How do you know what is in each vial?’
‘Um, well you see, its err not that clear, but it says on the NHS website..’
‘Yes, but what about each vial?’
‘Um, well you see, its err not that clear, but it says on the NHS website..’
‘Ok, let try another tack. Do you know about the human immune system and vitamin D?’
‘Um, well you see, its err not that clear, but it says on the NHS website..’
Deep sigh. ‘Ok, how long does the vaccine protect you for?’
‘Um, well you see, its err not that clear, but it says on the NHS website..’
The roving reporter gave up at this point as he need a wee and was fed up at having the piss taken by the ‘trusted healthcare professional’ .
He intends to look up what the NHS actually says on its website as this is easier than asking a ‘trusted healthcare professional’ nowadays.
He think ‘rusted healthcare professional’ more appropriate description as health care professionals rusty in their knowledge and not very professional either.
Cinema in frame for Icke conspiracy film
This a film about the conspiracy that the vaccines are really good for us, and being harmed or occasionally dying is really not that serious a problem for those who have the vaccine.
We tried to contact the dead for their comments, but they said they were resting under the sod or turf and that we could turf off.
Israeli study shows fourth jab raises antibodies fivefold
Glad to hear this. Means Israeli’s immune systems are working properly then. How long for if they keep having poisons inserted is debatable though.
TV twins died days apart
Apparently they were not in the same ‘bubble’ so were not allowed to gurgle to each other. Shame, a crying shame.
Some people thought they had plastic surgery, which they denied. Apparently they had taken part in ‘experiments’ in the US. It seems they were not vaccinated, so the mind boggles as to what they were experimented by, with or from.
Perhaps it was how many hours could they stand in Joe Biden’s presence without being sick at the smell from his nappies. Anything’s possible nowadays I suppose.
Starmer tells of pride in Queen and country
Queer Stammer (sic) has been trying to boost his standing by standing at the podium and saying how wonderful the Queen is despite the fallout over Prince Andrew, Megan and Harry etc.
Queer Stammer (sic) has not checked with the people how they feel about it all recently.
He is proud of the country, but lives in the town. He owns some land near Oxted Surrey where he grew up. Poor Oxted.
Still, at least he doesn’t live there now. There are rumours he might want to sell the land to developers despite it being greenbelt land. Poor Oxted.
Queer Stammer (sic) is not that poor. By my reckoning he could worth £11 million or so, perhaps more. As I said, he is not that poor.
Queer Stammer (sic) may love the country because it is very valuable and he can sell it for a lot of money. I gather the Chinese are keen to make a bid.
If Queer Stammer (sic) gets into power he may do a deal, as you can get a good discount for a country when it is going down the drain and its people are not very well from poisonous vaccines (so I gather).
Blair ‘deserves his knighthood, unlike Johnson’
Stammer said this. Well mate, Johnson hasn’t been offered one yet.
I think Blair should get knighted. If anyone has close contact with the Queen could they slip her a fiver or an Old Master to do it? She is getting quite old so she would have an excuse.
You know, instead of going over the head from one shoulder to the other, just go horizontally, a short cut. Save us all a lot of bother.
She could always blame Covid anyway.
Perhaps she could knight Queer Stammer again while she is at it. Just a thought.
Batchelor’s plea for a wife
There is a man looking for a wife. He is Muslim. He is called Mohammad Malik. There is a dirty great poster of him on billboards in the vicinity of the Black Country of Birmingham. He has dark skin so perhaps this is the reason.
Personally I think he is rather mad to do this, but then it’s in his name, Moh-am-mad.
He refers to incredible mosques. Perhaps this is a spelling mistake and he meant masks. On the other hand perhaps it is mosques after all.
Mosque of the beast rings a bell, but I may have misheard.
Patrick Stewart criticised for whitewashing Bard
He has been reading sonnets out loud during the first lockdown. He seems to have left out some sonnets because he cannot understand them. Someone criticised him for leaving these out.
Personally, I think it is Patrick’s choice. But perhaps a shame not to read them.
However, as a thespian one ‘really needs to put oneself in the Bard’s place and if one cannot understand the sonnets, one cannot do them justice, can one?’
The dark lady may refer to dark hair rather than dark skin. The Anglo-Saxon and Viking blood has dominated England, so dark hair may well have been rare.
Still, it is not a good idea to white wash a bard if it is a black bard. You can use chalk on a black bard and charcoal on a white bard. Just sayin’.
School erases Rowling over transgender views
This is the school I believe and the policy on LGBTQ.
Schools have a duty to promote the safety and wellbeing of all children and young people in their care, including lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender pupils and those experiencing homophobic, biphobic or transphobic (HBT)2 bullying.
The foot note says
2 Homophobic, biphobic or transphobic
Well, this says a lot about the stupidity of the policy, and the abilities of the person(s) who drew up this crap. One does not need to specify certain groups as being in special need as all pupils are needy in some way or other.
Like in needing a good sensible education, and how to layout text properly.
If you have just mentioned certain words and then put the initials in brackets you do NOT need to then have a foot note explaining it again.
Perhaps this reflects the stupidly of the parents sending their children to this school. Or the stupidity of the school.
The school is biased towards these letters of the alphabet, and they have omitted the new letters I understand that have been added more recently. Why not just put all the letters of the alphabet down just to be on the safe side?
Alternatively leave the crap off the website etc. and just love all the children and teach them to critically think properly as you should have been doing in the first place.
There are 5 notable alumni according to Wikipedia. 2 of these died aged 23 and 49 years old in odd circumstances. I can’t see the alumni are very notable in the grand scheme of things.
I don’t think Joanna should worry about this.
Anyway, whether the school was rowling (sic) over her transgender views is debatable. It looks to me like they were using a rowling (sic) pin on her views. Stupid school in my books.
Might explain why 2 alumni died in odd circumstances.
Kahn condemned over plan to cut drug prosecutions
It is understood that this includes not prosecuting big pharma drug companies for peddling poisonous drugs and vaccines on ignorant public.
Kahn is saying he khan’t or won’t. Stupid Kahn. Khan’t get things right khan he?
NB There is a picture of that staring woman on page 14. Get boosted nOw it still says. Sod that for a lark. Put anyone off getting boosted she would with a look like that. Some people believe this crap still?
Bungling MoD chiefs waste billions
This is because it is alleged they receive ‘bungs’ for contracts. It should be con-tracts as the taxpayer is conned into having its taxes wasted on futile contracts.
Similar to the NHS and contracts for useless masks, PPE, vaccines, administration staff, doctors in big pharmas pockets etc. etc.
Similar to a lot of bureaucracy in fact.
NB There is an advert on the preceding page 16. It is from Palantir. This was the crystal ball that Sauron used to spy on his enemies. Nasty piece of work Sauron.
Macron nasty piece of work. Perhaps he has shares in Palantir.
Apparently Planatir helped get vaccine to millions via its software. So we know who else to blame then.
Breastfeeding voyeurs to face prison
Why the voyeurs were breastfeeding at the same time as voying I don’t know.
However, if they wish to look at tits, why don’t they just look at the front pages of the newspapers, for example. They will find such tits as Boris Johnson, Kier Starmer, Nicola Sturgeon, Emmanuel Macron, Joe Biden, Megan and Harry etc. etc.
It is not yet illegal to gawp as these I gather. Personally, I can think of better things to do with my time.
But if you are a darts player, why not tear out the pictures stick them on the wall and throw darts at them. The dart nearest the bull wins. NB the bull is where the bull shit comes out, i.e. the mouth.
Teach children at home every day, strictest head tells parents
Very sensible. Teach them how to wash up, clean the house, clean the loos, grow vegetables, look after pets etc. etc. Do not rely on teachers to do these things as teachers not always very good at these jobs.
Parents have tended to abdicate responsibility for children’s education, thinking the state will teach them how to think critically. It doesn’t.
Parents have tended to spilt up, get divorced etc. This does not help children think critically. Being critical of your husband/wife etc. does not always teach children how to think critically, but can merely make them critical.
Teaching them sacrificial love is hard work, but ultimately rewarding and good for children and society.
13.2% female surgeons. Therefore far more likely to have a male surgeon. This means by and large more women may die regardless. The smaller % of women might mean that they are more motivated of course.
You have to be very careful with statistics of course. And careful not to frighten people. How good does your surgeon seem to you when you see him or her beforehand?
More research required, but this headline implies that male surgeons may not be good for female surgery outcomes and the reasons may be more complex.
As regards female Sturgeons more people of both sexes are likely to die as result of their stupid Covid 19 polices etc. Poor Scotland. Still, you voted her in.
Unless you didn’t vote for her of course.
Raw sewage spills triple in Thames
This is understood to have come out of the Houses of Parliament as usual. There is a lot of crap nowadays. Please see my earlier post re Second Lockdown.
Removal of many of the MPS’ may help reduce the problem significantly.
Sorted that one then.
It isn’t racist to believe in genetic differences.
Duh, even I can work that one out, Daniel Finkelstein. There is only one human race for starters.
Genetic differences are self-evident so each individual is different, but there are similarities between nation groups and families to varying degrees.
NB There is a photo at bottom of this page 25 with a shot of mainly young people wearing masks in a tube train door way. It says why venture out?
Seems fair to me. You might think they were all muggers or infected by stupid 20 and you do not want to be mugged or catch stupid 20.
JK Rowling would say they are all muggles of course.
The fatal loneliness of locked-up care homes
This is by Alice Thomson. Only worked this out now have we Alice, nearly two years later?
You say that most residents are protected by vaccines do you? Haven’t worked out very much have you Alice?
Vaccines may well be fatal, so sooner residents protected from more needles and needless other big pharma drugs the better.
I wonder what care home staff are doing? Friends and family should make sure that residents are all checked ASAP to make sure they are still alive at least.
By the way Alice, the government issued guidance – see gov.uk. Did you ever bother to check Alice? Sod the so-called rules, just create merry hell until access is granted. Love is like that when you care enough about the residents in care homes.
By the way, the so-called ‘cure’ of lockdowns, masks,vaccines etc was always worse than the disease, as this was the ‘flu, the internal toxicosis of the body which is individual to the individual and no one else can catch. I can explain, Alice, if you ask me.
Living With Covid
Covid 19 is the ‘flu, dressed up as a monster to frighten people as I have said elsewhere. We have been living with it for donkeys years.
So don’t make asses of yourselves and get real. Vaccines are pointless, needles have points, masks are pointless, antisocial distancing is pointless, hugs are good and necessary, like handshakes (remember those?), herd immunity doesn’t exist as we are told – see my Covid 19 Summary for explanations.
For more info if you are not clued up see link at end.
Vitamins C and D are basics necessary for living with ‘flu.
How can anyone justify Tony Bliar getting a knighthood?? Even ignoring the Iraq war, he is promoting vaccines and likes the pope. That’s a hanging offense in itself (after a fair trial of course).
Jokes not to tell on the NHS
‘GP’s will see you really quickly nowadays’
‘The NHS is there for your health’
‘Vaccination is really, really good for you’
‘The administrative staff are all really, really necessary’
‘The administrative staff worked really, really hard at home during lockdowns’
‘The NHS is really, really good value for money.’
Did you really get a reaction to the jab?
Yes. Next stupid question please.
Swedes fight fake news with ‘psychological defence agency’
This is a turnip for the books. What fake news they will fight is unclear. Hopefully that the vaccines do any good at all, that the Nazis/ Marxists have gone away and promised to be nice to us, that sort of thing.
Or that Joe Biden has a functioning brain.
That the pope is a follower of Christ.
That vaccination is not an anagram of ‘Icon Vatican’ (it is by the way, you can check).
Capitol riot ‘was fuelled by 650,000 posts on Facebook’
Apparently this has to do with the conspiracy theory that the Republicans were responsible for the 6th January 2021 ‘riot’ on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C.
As we all know conspiracy theories are always wrong until proven right. In this instance it is believe that the democrats have come up with this conspiracy theory as they usually do when they want to blame others for their own faults.
Like electing Joe Biden as vice president or something like that.
There is another conspiracy theory that the Republicans deliberately lost the election to show how fraudulent the democrats are.
There is yet another conspiracy theory that the democrats deliberately chose Joe Biden because he had no brain to speak of and the three female stooges could take the reins of power themselves.
And to show how incompetent the three female stooges are and to how fraudulent the democrats are. The democrats can be a bit mad sometimes.
The three stooges are believed to be a Kamel, a Polizei, and a hilarious Clunton. Or possibly Joe Biden’s sister, or love of his life, Valerion (sic).
Just before we went to press, another conspiracy theory has surfaced that the democrats always get things right and never make mistakes. Such as calling black white and white black.
Want to ban a pointless phrase? No worries
I would add to the list ‘Vaccines are good for you’, ‘masks should be worn regardless of common sense’, and ‘social distancing is sensible, especially when hugs need to be given’.
Someone has just suggested that ‘democrats are far more sensible than republicans as democrats always follow the rules even if this means jumping off a 100 foot cliff to cure the viral problem’ should be banned.
The editor thinks that if democrats truly believe this, perhaps they could do us all a favour and hurry up and get on with it.
Alternatively, if they don’t, it is suggested they start listening to those of us who are in the know.
US workers quit in record numbers
It is not clear if this is people like us or US people as in USA citizens. Please note Americans does NOT mean Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Brazilicans, Bolivicans, Chilecan’ts, Panama Hats, etc etc. Not all Americans are citizens of the USA although citizens of the USA seem to think so
Please note in the USA the workers are quitting because they are fired by moronic employers insisting on pointless or dangerous vaccines, masks etc.
Or because they can’t stand the stupidly of it all and are so stressed out. Do get it right Simon Duke (who wrote this piece in the Times).
Clinton creditors still owed millions
Apparently this is Clinton cards, not Bill and Hilary. However, they may owe USA taxpayers millions through their machinations and tax dodges (allegedly).
Eriksen: I was dead for five minutes
He collapsed on the field in a football match. He has said he is not afraid it is going to happen again.
It is not clear if he has had a vaccine. This suggests not.
An anagram of ATAGI is a gait. Sounds like a gate. It has been denied that ATAGI is funded by the Gates Foundation.
This is from the news.com.au site.
The incident has had a dramatic effect on Eriksen. As news.com.au previously reported, doctors still don’t know what caused his heart problems but they don’t think it is safe for him to ever lace the boots up again.
Has anyone told Eriksen this? Perhaps he has suffered some brain damage.
It notes: “The observed rates in Australia are consistent with international data. These data show a higher rate in younger individuals (particularly younger males) and following second doses. Most reported cases have been mild, self-limiting and have recovered quickly, although further follow-up of these cases is ongoing. ATAGI noted that a small number of cases were more severe, requiring hospitalisation.”
So some cases due to vaccines then. Perhaps Eriksen was pretending. Footballers sometimes do this I understand, to gain a respite or advantage.
No vax, Novak? No problem
Apparently Novak does not use a vacuum clear but then presumably he is rich enough to pay someone to do this for him. He doesn’t want a pointless or poisonous vaccine. Sensible chap. Perhaps he has seen the statistics on case numbers rising following increase in vaccinations.
He was given an exemption, and then his visa was rejected. I believe his visa is now reinstated. But it gets a bit difficult to tell. The Australian government do not seem able to run a piss up in a brewery, let alone a country. The whole thing is a piss up.
But then everything in Australia is upside down at the moment. It is the wrong way up to me on the other side of the world, so perhaps this explains things.