Santa Claus

24th December 2020

‘You’d better watch out

You’d better not cry

You’d better not pout

I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town’

And coming to a town near you! The question is do you care? Your children, if you have any, might. I mean who doesn’t love Santa, jolly sort of chap, beard, red suit, red nose (or is that Rudolph?).

Red cheeks, then; after all if you fly through the air on an unpressurised open sleigh pulled by reindeer in freezing temperatures what do you expect?

No doubt the beard and moustache help. Don’t know if he will wear mask this year. It Belgium it appears he will be exempt. See

https://www.deseret.com/u-s-world/2020/11/17/21569814/coronavirus-santa-claus-covid-19-rules

So that’s nice. Mind you, I wonder if he is not in the ‘Clinically extremely vulnerable’ bracket as he is clearly obese. He should not go out according to rules in the UK (or GUIDANCE, as I prefer to call it).

But I consider the ‘rules’ to be a load of bollux and put him in the ‘Cynically extremely vulnerable’ bracket instead.

Who is Santa Claus anyway, when he is at home (home being the North Pole apparently, but I can’t see it on Google Earth for some reason)?

Well, it seems he is based on a man, a saint allegedly, called Nicholas of Myra or Bari. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas . I believe people have got confused over the years. He was, I am sure, of both. I suspect these are the names of his parents, Myra and Barry, and not places.

It is unclear when he was given the title ‘saint’ by the church, or perhaps even which church. As Jesus never said call anybody by such a title, I think witch church might be more appropriate.

So the answer might be one that had wicas. Which sounds like vicars. Mmm.

Anyway, so-called Saint Nicholas can be shortened to St Nick. To nick is to pinch in slang, among other things. See

https://www.thefreedictionary.com/nick

However, it also seems clear that exactly how much of the truth about him is true, is open to debate. Much of the story appears to have been generated by what I would loosely describe as ‘The Church’, probably better described as ‘vested interests’.

Better still, ‘vestmented interests’ as the so-called ‘clergy’ have always had an interest in maintaining their position.

So I am not convinced that any of it is of great value to us. Except that secret gift giving is good, as Jesus says in his discourse recorded in the Book of Matthew, Chapter 7 v. 1& ff.

That is, don’t let the left hand know what the right hand is doing. Rather like today, don’t let the Left know what the Right is doing, as the left always twists things.

So why do parents tell their children it is Santa Claus giving presents? I mean, it is one thing to say, ‘It’s a secret for you to find out.’ which is really exciting for a child, and quite another to tell a lie, as all adults, hopefully, realise Santa doesn’t exist.

After all, children, of all ages, love secrets and finding out the hidden truths, just like the Famous Five in Enid Blyton’s books.

But lying comes back to bite you eventually, as people can’t be truly sure if you are a truth teller or not. Especially if you tell them about the heavenly Father and Jesus. Will the children believe you then?

So many children of parents, who say they follow Christ, often fall away from the truth of Jesus because of what they perceive to be lies. I don’t blame the children.

But what about the modern Santa? Well, the depiction in graphic form seems to have come from Thomas Nast. See https://njmonthly.com/articles/arts-entertainment/celebrating-thomas-nast-iconic-santa-claus/

And here’s a colour photo from the internet.

I am not sure that I am overly impressed by Santa.

For starters, the holly on his head. There are pricks on holly. As you would find in Hollywood. These are not very nice to handle.

Hollywood apparently run by the Jews according to Joel Stein, who is presumably Jewish, so he should know. See

Secondly, holly berries are poisonous. But not as bad as yew berries it seems. I shall be writing a bit on Yew trees in due course I hope.

https://www.poison.org/articles/2014-dec/holly-berries

Thirdly, red signals danger, like Communist China (but not the Chinese people, as they are not necessarily Communist by choice as such).

Or the Red Coats of British soldiers, who are believed to have frightened the Duke of Wellington, when he said, allegedly,  ‘I don’t know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they frighten me.’

And old Santa Claus smokes. Tut. Tut. Very non-P.C.

And is carrying a sword. Is it real or plastic? Seems dangerous, could poke an eye out. Somebody tell the Health & Safety Executive.

Coca Cola have used Santa Claus in its advertising. Hmm, doesn’t surprise me.

All of which is rather suspect.

I have forgotten to do one thing. Silly me. Anagram his name.

I tried the online tools. Well, these come up with various words which you might consider discouraging.

For example, scuts; as in something unpleasant; anal or anus, source of something unpleasant; cans & cants, as in you can or can’t do this; ant, as in antifa (no, perhaps that’s pushing it); assault, as in Antifa (perhaps it’s not pushing it); lacunas, as in something missing; cutlass, as in what he’s carrying in Thomas Nast’s image; cantalas, like a plant with sharp teeth; cults, as in weirdoes; tans, as in beatings; lusts, as in, well, you can work that one out I’m sure.

And one the online angrammers miss for some reason, can’t think why it’s rather obvious. Old Baldy reverted to his brain to work this one out.

Satan Claus.

Or Satan claws as it can sound.

This all reminds me of something; let’s see, hmm, sharp teeth, lusts (for gold and jewels), assault, red, claws?

I know, Smaug as in The Hobbit, where Thorin describes Smaug as “a most specially greedy, strong and wicked worm” according to Wikipedia.

Or the scarlet beast, or red dragon of Revelation in the Bible perhaps.

Frankly compared to Jesus of Nazareth, whose birthday is celebrated tomorrow by many, I am not sure I see why Santa is quite so famous.

Of course the Germans love him, on the whole, it seems. See

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/world/europe/santa-claus-is-real-and-he-s-as-german-as-christmas-itself-1.2476673

Doesn’t surprise me. And George Soros is German in essence. Perhaps if you read my last post which is about him, you might wish to try comparing notes.

I’ll go with Jesus any day, every day in fact. Today and tomorrow.

But I’ll not go with Satan claws. Like the Andy William’s quote I refer to elsewhere, in relation to milk and cookies (which are put out for Satan, sorry, Santa).

‘Not now, not ever, not never!’

What about you?