By Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector’sson
20th November 2021
N.B. Government health warning. The following may offend the easily offended (at some point).
Now why is it that the anti-social distance was set last year at 2 meters or 6 foot? And why was the 6 foot imperial part apparently quietly dropped?
Possibly because I pointed out in my page A is for…..Anti-social distancing that 6 foot is nearer 1.8 meters, and this is rather different. After all who knows if 6 inches or so (2 meters is much closer to 6 foot six inches) will make the difference between ‘catching’ Coronavirus or not?
Not. Not a scrap of difference. This is because anti-social distancing is a load of scrap. Or just plain crap which is shorter. Like 6 foot is to two meters.
Anyway, this doesn’t answer the questions I put earlier. So what is the answer. 42 perhaps, the answer to everything?
Well, 4 + 2 = 6. There are 4 letters in foot and feet.
42 contains the number 2. 2 meters. Meters contains 6 letters, 4 + 2.
All very reasonable you may say, but how does this help us here, and what on God’s good earth has Cowboy Billy got to do with it all??
It’s easy. However, it helps if you are from the UK, at least I assume that the playground song was widely known as I knew I when growing up. The following are the lyrics and if you are overly refined you may wish to look away to hide your blushes.
If you are puerile like me (boyish that is), whether you are male or female, read on. Please note this is how I remember it.
Cowboy Billy had a ten foot willy.
He showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake,
And hit it with a rake,
And now it’s only six foot four.
Now this goes to show different things, including that Billy was a silly Billy to show his willy to the girl next door. It is one thing to try and scare girls as boys are prone to do, but this was asking for trouble.
I know that collecting screams from girls can be fun for the male, and gives them power along the lines of Monsters Inc., but making them laugh is better. It gives you both more energy. As Monsters Inc. suggests at the end.
But this still doesn’t answer the questions ‘why is it that the anti-social distance was set last year at 2 meters or 6 foot? And why was the 6 foot imperial part apparently quietly dropped?’
As to the first part this may because those in government are a bit dim and weren’t brought up with imperial like I was. Or forgot to double check the distance in meters.
Or possibly to see how many people like me would say ‘Hang on a minute, this is not quite right. If it is not that accurate, why all the fuss?’
And if why all the fuss, is Covid 19 anything more than the seasonal ‘flu dressed up as a monster to scare the children as in Monsters Inc.?
The answer to which is, it is the seasonal ‘flu etc. Of course the ‘flu is sometimes more than seasonal when stupid people lock themselves down without thinking or double checking things.
Like ‘Is my brain still working’, or ‘What does the gov.uk website actually say?’ That sort of thing.
As to the second question, well, the government were apparently legislating against sexual contact.
However, what is actually said is it is allegedly illegal to “No person may participate in a gathering which takes place in a public or private place indoors, and consists of two or more persons.”
Please note the reference on the link is to a bill, not an Act of parliament. And it talks about regulations if you look up the link to ‘amendment to the Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) Bill states:’
A small but crucial difference.
Anyway, the point is if 6 foot is the distance then it might be possible for cowboy Billy to have sex with a woman after he showed his willy to the girl next door. In theory at least.
I’m not sure he would risk it myself after the trauma of his encounter, and how long it would take the wound to heal, let alone anything else is anybody’s guess.
But if the distance is 2 meters and over 6 foot 6 inches, then it would be impossible for Cowboy Billy to have sex with a woman, if his willy is now only 6 foot four. Obviously.
So this explains everything and I hope everyone is now happier and the wiser for it.
As a supplementary, I have seen the following, which might help.
Reacting to Sex Advice during a Pandemic // Alternative Medical News #1
COVID-19: Canada’s top doctor suggests wearing a mask during sex
What sort of mask should be worn is debatable. Perhaps a mask of Zorro for the man, or a Batman or Robin mask. The lady could wear one of those fancy masks worn at masked balls.
But gentlemen, please don’t mask your balls as this can cause difficulties I gather. This is advisory of course.
If you are not rolling around with laughter by now I have failed miserably in my page.
But they say laughter is the best medicine, and sometimes is enough to bring you through a difficult patch. And laughing over the ridiculousness of sex is good too.
But then God, the angels, invented sex and laughter so the two make a winning combination in the right circumstances. Which is in a secure marriage between a man and a woman. I know, I have that myself, although it has been sorely tested during the so-called pandemic.
As for Cowboy Billy, well, one thing’s for sure; he will be more than saddle sore after seeing the girl next door!!!
P.S. as for snakes, this reminds me of the old serpent Satan, once Lucifer. Is there any connection between Cowboy Billy and him I wonder? Well, you will have to wait for the next thrilling instalment from Baldmichael, won’t you?
If you haven’t seen it already, perhaps you would like to view this. 42 – The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything *
Or on government guidance. G is for…..guidance