Useful Canadian Phrases

By Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector’sson

29th January, 2022



I see there is a convoy headed for Ottawa. That’s nice. I understand they are going to try and have a word or two with Justin Trudeau the Prime Minister.

I thought that as I have a few words I would like to say on my behalf they, the truckers, might do this for me as it is a bit far for me to go at the moment. I cannot yet walk on water and I am not that good a swimmer.

Flying is not an option for me as I do not have wings. I considered moving my Cloud, but it would be even colder up here an over in Canada and I do like some comfort. My sheep skin jacket will not suffice sadly.

I might need to be vaccinated and as I won’t have a clot shot, death stick etc. etc. the Canadian Air Force might intervene anyway.

Assuming the pilots are not all down with Covid having had the clot shot, death stick etc. etc.

Here are my words. If you come up with anything else useful do let me know.

They are a mixture of English and French as being of moderate intelligence I know that Canada can speak both. But not all Canadians perhaps.

So I have given the translation in English. And French, just to be on the safe side. You can’t be too careful nowadays with the Covid crap around you know.

Je suis trodden dans un Trud. Eau!

Translation:

English: I have trodden in a turd. Oh!

French: J’ai marché dans une merde. Oh!

Trudeau est un load de turd eau.

Translation:

English: Justin Trudeau is a load of muddy water.

French: Justin Trudeau est une charge d’eau boueuse.

Justin Trudeau is just in a trou d’eau.

Translation:

English: Justin Trudeau is just in a hole of water.

French: Justin Trudeau est juste dans un trou d’eau.

Justin Trudeau is just in a semelle R

Translation:

English: Justin Trudeau is just in an ‘R’ sole (sic).

French: Justin Trudeau est juste dans un cul du trou

N.B. This may not be correct, but it’s the thought that counts.

Justin Trudeau est just a malade semelle R

Translation:

English: Justin Trudeau is just a sick ‘R’ sole (sic).

French: Justin Trudeau n’est qu’une semelle ‘R’ malade

Eau Justin tu ate un plonker!

Translation:

English: Oh Justin you are a plonker! (i.e. a cheap whine).

French: Oh Justin tu es un plonker! (c’est-à-dire un gémissement bon marché).

C’est vrai, Justin c’est un bonker.

Translation:

English: It’s true, Justin is a bonker (sic).

French: C’est vrai, Justin est un Boiseur (sic)

C’est vrai, Justin c’est complètement les bonkers.

Translation:

English: It’s true, Justin is completely mad.

French: C’est vrai, Justin est complètement fou.

C’est vrai, Jewstin (sic) c’est un true eau.

Translation:

English: It’s true, Jewstin (sic) is a true wet (water is wet, eau yes it is!)

French: C’est vrai, Juifstin est un vrai mouillé (l’eau c’est mouillé, l’eau oui ça l’est !)

C’est vrai, Just in time c’est un wonker (sic).

Translation:

English: It’s true, Just in time (this is an idiom) is a wonker (sic).

French: C’est vrai, Juste à temps (c’est un idiome) est un connard (sic).

N.B. This may not be correct, but it’s the thought that counts.

C’est vrai, Justin c’est un idiome.

Translation:

English: It’s true, Justin is an idiom (for what nobody knows).

French: C’est vrai, Justin est un idiome (pour ce que personne ne sait).

C’est vrai, Justin ce n’est pas an idiome so much as un idiot.

Translation:

English: It’s true, Justin is not so much an idiom as an idiot.

French: C’est vrai, Justin n’est pas tant un idiome qu’un idiot.

Justin ce n’est pas Idi Amin, mais might as well be.

Translation:

English: Justin is not Idi Amin, but might as well be.

French: Justin n’est pas Idi Amin, mais pourrait tout aussi bien l’être.

C’est vrai, Idi Amin avait un visage sombre. Justin Trudeau a un visage sombre quelle que fois

Translation:

English: It’s true, Idi Amin had a dark face. Justin Trudeau has a dark face sometimes.

French: C’est vrai, Idi Amin avait un visage sombre. Justin Trudeau a parfois un visage sombre.

NB This is very like my choice of words. I can use Google Translate quite well.

C’est vrai, Just in time c’est un true odeur.

Translation:

English: It’s true, Justin time (idiom) is very smelly (true).

French: C’est vrai, le temps de Justin (idiome) sent très mauvais (vrai).

Trudeau est making beaucoups de dough.

Translation:

English: Trudeau is making lots of money.

French: Trudeau gagne beaucoup d’argent.

Trudeau est making beaucoups de dough disparaître

Translation:

English: Trudeau is making lots of money disappear.

French: Trudeau fait disparaître beaucoup d’argent.

Trudeau est making beaucoups de dough des contribuables disparaître

Translation:

English: Trudeau is making lots of taxpayers’ money disappear.

French: Trudeau fait disparaître beaucoup d’argent des contribuables.

Justin Trudeau c’est encore un idiot et un plonker et un wonker (sic). Et un bonker.

Translation:

English: Trudeau is still an idiot and a plonker and a wonker (sic). And a bonker (sic).

French: Trudeau est toujours un idiot et un plonker et un bronleur (sic). Et un Boiseur (sic).

Justin est un petty prick avec son petty vaccin pricks.

Translation:

English: Justin is a small prick with his small vaccine pricks.

French: Justin est un petit con avec ses petites piqûres de vaccins.

NB I understand un petit con is a small con as in con man, a con-artist. If it means something else let me know.

Justin est just le con homme (I am now told con is related to prick but I don’t know why).

Translation:

English: Justin is just a con man.

French: Justin n’est qu’un escroc.

NB I think escroc is related to croque monsieur, a grilled cheese snack. In Justin’s case he is a crap mon sewer.

Justin est le roi des con hommes.

Translation:

English: Justin is the king of con men.

French: Justin est le roi des escrocs.

Est-ce que c’est ça Justin Trudeau est le Roi du Con?

Translation:

English: Is it correct Justin Trudeau is King Kong (sic).

Alternative translation: Is it true that Justin Trudeau is the biggest prick of the lot?

French: Est-il exact que Justin Trudeau est King Kong (sic).

Traduction alternative : Est-il vrai que Justin Trudeau est le plus gros con du monde?

Oui

Translation:

English: Yes.

French: Oui

Au revoir et adieu.

Or see you soon and God be with you

N.B. C’est is used in the text instead of il est because he is an it. Or if you wishper it, ‘Justin Trudeau is a, shh, it.’ The French can translate it themselves if they need to.






P.S. Don’t forget that oui means ‘yes’

P.P.S. Don’t forget that two oui’s are a oui oui.

P.P.P.S Don’t forget that a oui oui is a wee wee.

P.I.S.S. Don’t forget to take the wee wee out of Justin Trudeau

P.P.E. Don’t forget to take your useless PPE and burn it somewhere suitable and safe to keep warm in the freezing temperatures.

Author: alphaandomega21

Baldmichael Theresoluteprotector'sson. When not posting pages or paging posties, trying to be a good husband, and getting over a long term health issue, I am putting the world to rights. I have nothing better to do, so why not? But of course that includes dancing, being funny (in more than one sense), poking fun at life, poking fun at myself, deflating the pompous, reflating the sad. Seeking to heal the whole of the soul (and body where possible). In short making life as good as it possibly can be for others as well as myself. You can't say fairer than that. But if you can, please say. People need to know.

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